the fool is humming again
the king is rolling olives around his mouth
the queen is busy with her needlework
but she is also listening
only the children are laughing
playing at stones and dominoes
while the men from the country
bring their sheep for shearing
the bleached wool will then be dyed
and spun by the traditional method
yarn for the queen’s needlework
she is not fooled by the humming
/ / /
salt mouth
olive juice napkin
fingers dominoes
delicate method
sheep’s wool
fingers needlework
humming laughing
feet bleached stones
country men fools
/ / /
These poems were written in response to Whirligig 8 at Sunday’s Whirligig. I had started the second one first, but it wasn’t going anywhere, so I tried something more narrative, which is the first poem above. Returning to my first attempt, I stripped it down, trying a different tack for a narrative.
I can picture the scene your words painted in the first poem.
And especially like the ending of the second -“country men fools”
Rulers always have to look over their shoulders and listen to gossip and not be influenced by the humming masses as they might turn into angry bees.
Well crafted!
I like the narrative you’ve woven with the words..it’s like a day in the life of the Queen 🙂
It sounds as though we follow the same method for wordles. Your second poem is very effective, given the condensed use of such a motley collection of words. But the images conjured up by the first poem are quirky and charming.
A well-imagined scene and great use of the words! Well done.
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Sometimes that happens…
Question is who are the real fools…the two contrasting styles worked very well…like going through the thought processes with them
Love this deconstruction approach, Richard.
The has such a wonderful feel, particularly “playing at stones and dominoes”
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This has such a nice sound to it, restful even. Loved it.
Well, finally—a queen who’s no fool! 😉