Montage

in the distance
sunset

a view of his domain
gated chateau

jasmine vining
on copper trellises

he stands at the window
smoking a cigar

drinking twenty-five year old
Glenlivet in a lead crystal glass

which he sets down
on a marble-top table

he is trapped
looking out

the maid slides
scraps from the china

then retrieves
the whistling tea kettle

from the stove
begins brewing jasmine tea

which she brings to her Mrs.
sitting in the library

her ample frame
held by a leather reading chair

she adds another book
to her marble-top table

she is trapped
looking in

they both are flawed
and cannot see

each other’s flaws
their demons see to that

/ / /

This poem was written in response to Wordle 62 at The Sunday Whirl.

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28 thoughts on “Montage

  1. Richard, I really like the picture you have painted here. I see what you mean about the ending, however, it is something you should come back to when you have a chance. These characters you have created do have life.

    Pamela

    • Pamela, thank you. I think this is one that could do with some revision. At the end, I’m just telling and not showing. Either abandon “flawed” and “demons” or use them differently elsewhere in the poem. Glad that the characters work.

      Richard

  2. Very interesting write, Richard. I like picturing this flawed twosome who cannot picture one another’s flaws. You say their demons see to that. Hmmm, might it not be angels? LOL. You always come up with a unique perspective.

    • Mary, thank you. Angels hmmm? That’s an interesting idea. I did think about playing with “demons” and “daimons”, so perhaps on revision. And thank you for “unique perspective”. It’s much appreciated.

      Richard

    • Elizabeth, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. I love your interpretation. I wasn’t thinking Denial, but it absolutely fits in here. That idea might help me if I revise this one; thank you for that.

      Richard

  3. AH, I was channeling YOU in a comment on Brenda’s wordle (with a very similar comment to yours). But on this one, I was channeling Mary — I, too, wondered if it might not be angels blinding them to the flaws. πŸ˜‰ Great use of the words.

  4. Pingback: Sunday whirl...little late...but there are daemons! |

  5. Richard, Telling rather than showing works in the end. I like the idea of demons masking our flaws from each other…makes them seem almost helpful. πŸ˜‰

    • Brenda, thank you. I hadn’t thought of it that way – that they could be almost helpful. I guess a mix of showing and telling is okay. Thanks for that.

      Richard

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