rondeau: scrapers

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Mr. Walker

We don’t wake with a jolt anymore.
We just scrape across the floor
and look for our dignity,
rummaging in our pockets to see
if we can find any more.

We used to be urgent and aroar.
Now we’re just simple and sore.
We used to strive – to be.
We don’t wake with a jolt anymore.

We know we should be bold or
work to build scrapers that soar,
but we pass what we see,
cut out all roaring humanity.
We’re all aft; there’s no one fore.
We don’t wake with a jolt anymore.

/ / /

This poem was written in response to Wordle 21 at The Sunday Whirl. I was inspired to write a rondeau by an article in the October issue of The Writer which I am currently reading on my nook.

29 thoughts on “rondeau: scrapers”

Marianne on September 13, 2011 at 7:59 am said:

Love this poem! I can totally relate. And you’ve managed a rondeau to boot!

“We’re all aft; there’s no one fore. We don’t wake with a jolt anymore” is perfect!

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- Mr. Walker on September 13, 2011 at 6:11 pm said:
  
  Marianne, thank you. I’m glad you like those last two lines.
  
  Richard
  
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pmwanken on September 13, 2011 at 9:52 pm said:

I love your choice to repeat the line you did…..with each appearance, it’s as if I’ve been taken by the shirt collar and shaken a bit to wake me up. There’s another prompt out there somewhere, I read on another’s blog, to employ the rondeau. Perhaps it was on Mike Patrick’s blog? If I come across where the prompt was, I’ll let you know so you can link there, as well.

Great use of the wordle words, too. 🙂

well done, my friend,
Paula

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- pmwanken on September 13, 2011 at 10:02 pm said:
  
  Yep — it was Mike. He responded to the prompt at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads: http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2011/09/x-marks-spot.html
  
  pw
  
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  - Mr. Walker on September 13, 2011 at 10:06 pm said:
    
    Paula, thank you. I just had to repeat “jolt” and that line came to me. I like the way you describe how it felt to you. I wanted it to have that effect. I wasn’t sure if it did or not. I’ll check out the link – thanks.
    
    Richard
    
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Grace O'Malley on September 13, 2011 at 10:20 pm said:

Hooray! I’m glad you posted this on Real Toads. I love it when people spontaneously erupt in strict formats. Huh, that sounded kind of like a disease, but I meant it as a compliment. Don’t mind me, I presented the challenge and all I could come up with at first was a poem about zombies. Sigh.

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- Mr. Walker on September 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm said:
  
  Grace, “spontaneously erupt in strict formats” cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh – and for your zombie poem. I really liked it. (I haven’t written a zombie poem yet). I think I’ll be keeping an eye on Real Toads now.
  
  Richard
  
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Mike Patrick on September 13, 2011 at 10:20 pm said:

A rondeau and a wordle? Richard, I would have thought it impossible, yet it is beautifully done. And using “jolt” in the repeating line? That’s just showing off.

Please go to Real Toads (Paula’s link above) and post. There are only a few so far and they are all great. This will fit in perfectly.

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- Mr. Walker on September 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm said:
  
  Mike, I know. What was I thinking? I’m not sure it’s “beautifully done”, but I won’t refuse praise. Thanks.
  
  I did go to Real Toads. I enjoyed everyone’s rondeaux.
  
  Richard
  
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jinksy on September 14, 2011 at 12:06 am said:

A jolt is not the best thing to wake up with – I can think of alternative choices! LOL

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- Mr. Walker on September 14, 2011 at 9:07 pm said:
  
  Jinksy, you’ve got a point there. But too many people sleepwalk through their own lives; they’re the ones who need a jolt.
  
  Richard
  
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  - vivinfrance on September 17, 2011 at 5:52 am said:
    
    And I too think we need that jolt from time to time! Your rondeau is fun, accomplished and a salutary lesson to this rather jaded poet!
    
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Laurie Kolp on September 14, 2011 at 7:04 am said:

Your expertise shines through, Richard… wordle and rondeau? I’m impressed! I love the rhythmic sway in this. Thanks for your support, too.

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- Mr. Walker on September 14, 2011 at 9:08 pm said:
  
  Laurie, thank you. I think it’s good for me to try forms like this; it stretches me. I’m glad you thought it had “rhythmic sway”.
  
  Richard
  
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Kerry O'Connor on September 14, 2011 at 9:42 am said:

To work with form and a word prompt is no mean feat, I am sure but you have done so with aplomb. Thank you for sharing your work on Real Toads.

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- Mr. Walker on September 14, 2011 at 9:09 pm said:
  
  Kerry, thanks for stopping by. I’m glad Paula told me about Real Toads. It was fun reading other’s rondeaux.
  
  Richard
  
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Cathy on September 14, 2011 at 12:20 pm said:

Beautiful done. I too, like the repeating in it.

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- Mr. Walker on September 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm said:
  
  Cathy, thank you. Isn’t it funny how we’re no supposed to repeat in prose, but it works in poetry?
  
  Richard
  
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Caddoc Trellis on September 15, 2011 at 4:54 am said:

Oh, the horrors of getting older…

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- Mr. Walker on September 15, 2011 at 9:19 pm said:
  
  Caddoc, thank you. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
  
  Richard
  
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Pete on September 15, 2011 at 8:59 am said:

I haven’t woken with a jolt for years. Aroar is a great word!!

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- Mr. Walker on September 15, 2011 at 9:20 pm said:
  
  Pete, thanks. At first, “aroar” was going to my version of “roaring”, one of the wordle words, but I snuck that one in too. Glad you like it.
  
  Richard
  
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wordsandthoughtspjs on September 15, 2011 at 10:38 am said:

Richard, I applaud you on this rondeau and wordle combination. Well penned and oh so true.

Pamela

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- Mr. Walker on September 15, 2011 at 9:21 pm said:
  
  Pamela, thanks. I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but then, that’s what revision is for.
  
  Richard
  
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brenda w on September 15, 2011 at 6:37 pm said:

Thank you for the rondeau. I love the repetition, too. In oral traditions, repetition helps the teller remember specific parts of stories, and keep the tellings cohesive through generations. You’ve got me considering the idea of story tellers as poets.

“We’re all aft; there’s no one fore” heightens my fear for our future.

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- Mr. Walker on September 15, 2011 at 9:23 pm said:
  
  Brenda, thanks. I like the repetition that you can do in poetry. I’m terrible at rhyme, but there are so many other ways to do it.
  
  I’m glad you like/fear that line. I fear it too sometimes.
  
  Richard
  
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Sherry Blue Sky on September 16, 2011 at 8:47 am said:

I so love this – it is perfection. Wow, Mr Walker – way to write a rondeau! I love the “rummaging in our pockets” to find more dignity. Hee hee.

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- Mr. Walker on September 17, 2011 at 10:14 am said:
  
  Sherry, thank you. Isn’t it a shame that some treat dignity like spare change?
  
  Richard
  
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Mr. Walker on September 17, 2011 at 10:15 am said:

Viv, thanks for the kind comment. I don’t think you’re jaded at all.

Richard

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