I’d like to come over and play.
It’s a little cool here by the ocean.
I’d like to stretch out for a bit
where it’s a little warmer.
I like coming east.
It’s fun traveling over the bay
and toward the foothills,
warming in your light embrace.
You can do that magic trick
where you make me invisible.
Then we can do it all over again
tomorrow, if that’s okay with you.
This morning the sun said yes to the fog.
* * * * *
This poem was written in response to the noble and fruitful sharing prompt at Big Tent Poetry. I borrowed a line – “This morning the sun said yes to the fog.” – from Linda Jacobs. You can read her poems at Linda’s Poems. I encourage you to check out the very last show time at Big Tent Poetry.
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Nice interpretation of the borrowed line. I loved that one as well.
Viv, thanks. That line was the one that spoke to me the most.
Richard
I know the bay area so well that this poem resonates particularly. I have watched the fog roll in many a morning and when I visit my mother this summer and watch it again I shall think of this and the sun saying yes to the fog.
Margo, thank you. I can see myself recalling that line when I see the fog coming in like that.
Richard
I love the imagery you’ve created here, Richard.
I love that borrowed line, also.
Pamela
Pamela, thank. I wanted to play with some fog images. Glad it worked.
Richard
Richard, the gentle soft teasing tone of this is beautiful, and underlines that last line, so well chosen to end the poem. Has anyone told you that you are remarkably versatile? Now, they have,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth, as always, thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments. I’m glad the tone is clear. Thank you, I think “versatile” is high praise.
Richard
Richard, There is a gentle beauty in this piece—again about the bay. I love how it keeps popping up in your work. Personification…you work it.
~Brenda
Brenda, I can’t seem to escape the bay, can I? I couldn’t resist Linda’s line about the fog. I’m glad the personification worked.
Richard
Even though it’s the fog and the sun talking, it could just as easily be a poem between two (non-elemental) lovers… either way, simple and sweet. Great interpretation of the line.
Joseph, thank you. I wanted it to work on both levels like that; glad you think it worked.
Richard
I love this conversation between sun and fog, Richard. Co-operative caring! Humans could take heed!
Mary, I agree. If only people could speak more lovingly to each other a little more often. As always, thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments.
Richard
I,too, see the gentleness inherent in this poem. It makes me smile.
Linda, thank you. I’m glad that gentle tone comes through. Glad it made you smile.
Richard
Simply wonderful.
Kim, thanks for being a regular reader of my poems. I appreciate the kind things you said at Poets United.
Richard
Sometimes I wish their was a fog I cold hide and play in a different time and place. Might not have been your intent, but it was the image I felt.
I like your clear, honest voice. Very well done.
Henry, I think you picked up on the playful tone of this poem; and I like your interpretation. I am endlessly fascinated with fog. Thanks for your kind words about the voice in this poem.
Richard
Interesting, because you can read this as a love poem too.
Cathy, thank you. That was my intent.
Richard
Good for you for taking Linda’s line and creating a story-poem around it. The whole thing was a delightful mystery until the final line, and I love poems that challenge in that way! At first I thought it was loving word play between lovers… Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/mirror-grows-up/
Amy, thanks. I couldn’t resist Linda’s line; it really called to me. I’m glad I didn’t use Linda’s line as my first line; it worked much better as the last. I wanted it to be read as word play between lovers too.
Richard
Super interpretation of Linda’s lines. So tender & dear, ending with that poignant line.
It’s been a pleasure to read you, Richard, and I look forward to reading your work in the future.
So glad you found the tent, even if it was not that long ago.
Deb, thank you so much. Linda’s line called to me and I just had to use it. Thank you for reading my poems; I will continue to read yours as well. I’m glad I found the tent too; and there’s some history there that I think I can mine for future inspiration. I used a lot of Big Tent Poetry prompts in April, so I appreciate all the work that you, Carolee, and Jill have done. Thanks for that.
Richard
Cute story of the sun and the fog! I like the simplicity like child’s play, or lover’s play.
Irene, thank you. I’m glad the simplicity and play came through in the tone of this poem.
Richard
I really enjoyed this, Richard. I especially loved these lines, which, when read from the love poem angle, feel sweet and poignant:
You can do that magic trick
where you make me invisible.
Kelly, thank you. I’m partial to those lines myself; love is magical.
Richard
As others have said, excellent poem – and I love your placement of Linda’s wonderful line as the summation, with the playful, sweet story to precede it. Great effect – and nice metaphor for a love poem also.
Nan, thank you. I’m indebted to Linda for that beautiful line. It was truly inspirational. I, too, saw it as a metaphor for love – saying yes.
Richard
oh, i love this! the first word that comes to mind is delightful!
Dani, thank you. “Delightful” is such a lovely word.
Richard
Absolutely lovely 🙂
Bridget, thank you. And thanks for stopping by.
Richard